Quick Review: It's Complicated

Posted in movies by - Dec 11, 2009
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My working theory about this movie is that it’s very thinly disguised lady porn. It’s not really important what happens, because the plot of this movie serves only two ends: to allow Meryl Streep to mug and chew scenery in a way that’s light years beneath her, and to create moments where people gaze at Jane with either desperate longing or desperate jealousy. Those looks are the money shot of this film.

Here’s the setup:

Meryl Streep plays Jane, a bakery owner with three very photogenic children. Her home is full of freshly cut flowers. There are baskets of unblemished fruit …

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Quick Review: Fantastic Mr. Fox

Posted in movies by - Dec 07, 2009
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This may be Wes Anderson’s best film yet

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Quick Review: Ninja Assassin

Posted in movies by - Nov 26, 2009
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You don’t need me to tell you that ninjas are cool. You don’t need me to tell you that movies about ninjas are cool, even when they aren’t so good. Because they’re full of ninjas. There’s even an ancient proverb: “Ninjas cover a multitude of sins.”

This movie is not so good. The plot is rickety, and the performances of the non-ninja characters are uniformly junior-varsity. There are even times when you think they’re trying to save money by shooting some of the action sequences in lighting so dim it’s hard to tell who’s doing what awesome thing to whom.

The …

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Quick Review: The Men Who Stare at Goats

Posted in movies by - Nov 26, 2009
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This film is a disappointment.

So many things are in its favor – stellar cast, fascinating source material, apparently enough money and time to do something great. Most film crews would kill for any one of those things to hang their production on.

So when you have all that, and your movie is still a big zero, it’s hard to know who to blame.

Turning Jon Ronson’s book into a semi-inspirational screenplay is probably the first mistake. Turning the morbidly fascinating story of the Pentagon’s hesitant embrace of the occult into a silly conflict about personalities is probably another. In the end, …

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Quick Review: 2012

Posted in movies by - Nov 13, 2009
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To talk about Roland Emmerich’s “2012” in terms of plot, or performances, or even guiding ideas is probably a waste of time. Anyone who is easily frustrated by plot holes, unsound physics and wooden, cheesy performances has probably long since learned to avoid Emmerich’s work. More importantly, in the cinematic universe Emmerich has created for himself, things like story and performance are profoundly beside the point.

Emmerich is, after all, the director who brought us “Independence Day” and the scientifically ludicrous “Day After Tomorrow.” This time he offers his take on the stupid but highly zeitgeisty idea that the world …

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Quick Review: The Fourth Kind

Posted in movies by - Nov 11, 2009
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If you’re like me, you’ll go into “The Fourth Kind” expecting it to be an alien-centric “Paranormal Activities.” You can’t be blamed for thinking that, since that’s exactly what the trailers and the ad campaign set out for you.

You’d be right, at least on the surface. It is like “Paranormal” in that both movies consist of a lot of chit-chat about the supernatural punctuated by creepy, low-quality video sequences meant to terrify you with their “authenticity.” Both movies are nearly endless in their exposition and both fail to deliver on their threats when the third act starts …

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Portfolio

Posted in portfolio by - Nov 10, 2009
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I love designing for print. I’ve done a lot of work in Illustrator, InDesign, and Photoshop for print pieces, and I can even do some Quark if need be. In some ways, working for one employer at a time and being responsible to a corporate style guide has kept me from pushing the limits of the medium as much as I’d like, and I’m enjoying having some time to experiment a bit – I’ll post some of my experiments here.

[flagallery gid=1 name=”Gallery”]

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Life After Cable: Day 11

Posted in life after cable by - Nov 09, 2009
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I love the MTV Real Word/Road Rules competition shows (not proud here, just honest)

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Quick Review: The Box

Posted in movies by - Nov 08, 2009
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This movie is batshit.

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Life After Cable, Day 10

Posted in life after cable by - Nov 08, 2009
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Watched everything that I would have watched on Thursday night tonight – viva Hulu. Community, Parks and Recreation, Office and 30 Rock. Tried to watch a little FlashForward on the bedroom computer to lull me to sleep, but I lost interest and read from a collection of Ebert’s movie reviews. If FlashForward is planning to get cool, may I suggest that now is the time.

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