Taken 2: More Takener

Posted in movies by - Oct 08, 2012
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Taken 2: More Takener

Look. Let’s not pretend this is a movie that can be ‘reviewed’. Let’s stipulate that everyone in the theater is perfectly aware of the kind of flashy garbage that Oliver Megaton produces, and paid the ticket price to have their limbic system bathed in a warm broth of smug, unexamined cruelty and pretty ladies in temporary peril.

This time, Brian (Liam Neeson) is being hunted by the patriarch of the gang that stole his daughter. If you’re just joining the series, know that in the first film Brian’s daughter is snatched from her vacation by shady Albanians with the foulest of …

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Sleepwalk with Me

Posted in movies by - Sep 14, 2012
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Sleepwalk with Me

If you listen to ‘This American Life’, or follow alternative stand-up comedy, you already know what to expect from this movie. The good news is it’s pretty much exactly like that.

Birbiglia has told this story a lot. He’s told it on stage, he’s told it in print, and he’s even told it on a very memorable episode of ‘This American Life’. The thing is, it’s a good story, and Birbiglia is a charming storyteller. The fact that I knew most of the particulars of the plot didn’t stop me from enjoying the film.

There are a lot of delightful …

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The Possession

Posted in movies by - Sep 01, 2012
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The Possession

‘Based on a True Story’ usually means ‘You Won’t Believe Any of This, Even for a Second’. ‘The Possession’ does not disappoint in this regard. A young girl whose parents are divorcing finds an ornate wooden box at a yard sale. She must have it. When she brings it home, a lot of horror movie cliches start happening. Matisyahu, the world’s leading Orthodox Jewish Dancehall Reggae Star, must try to save the day and get the dybbuk back in the dybbuk box.

I have a soft spot for films about creepy paranormal events with religious undertones, so it’s a little …

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Killer Joe

Posted in movies by - Aug 30, 2012
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Killer Joe

‘Killer Joe’ is hard to pin down. It’s an attempt at pitch black comedy, a la Blood Simple – but it’s only sporadically effective. The thing is, the dark parts are so dark that it’s hard to recommend for most audiences – it’s not an accident that the movie pulled an NC-17 rating.

The bones of the plot are familiar: murder for hire, insurance fraud, manic pixie coming-of-age story. You’ve doubtless seen all the elements in slightly different combinations. Matthew The Shirtless plays an uber-creepy Texas detective with a side business of contract murder. A dim-witted, insolvent and throughly unlikable …

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Review: the Bourne Legacy

Posted in movies by - Aug 13, 2012
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Review: the Bourne Legacy

So, the first thing that you need to know is that this really isn’t a Bourne movie. And I’m not saying that just because Matt Damon is no longer in the franchise. I’m saying that because this has stopped being thriller series about spies and amnesia and it’s become a superhero series – albeit about a superhero with a very limited set of powers.

The previous Bourne movies are focused on a spy whose only supernormal abilities come from training, swagger and krav maga. The Jeremy Renner version is built around a spy who has genetic superpowers. Somehow his handlers …

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Total Recall

Posted in movies by - Aug 11, 2012
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Total Recall

This movie is better than you think.

Of course, I’m assuming that you don’t think it’s very good. I mean, that’s the assumption I entered the theater with. I went to see ‘Total Recall’ as much because of the air conditioning as the trailers. It’s a remake of a movie that was memorable mostly for its unintentional campiness. Also, it stars Colin ‘the Irish John Stamos’ Farrell, and that is rarely a good sign.

The thing is, with my expectations thus lowered, I came away pretty happy. It’s a pastiche of other science fiction movies you’ve seen, of course. The city of …

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SIFF Review

Posted in movies by - Jun 17, 2012
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SIFF Review

I didn’t get to see as many films as I would have liked to this year, but the ones I saw were pretty uniformly great. Here’s a quick rundown:

Safety Not Guaranteed

It’s in theaters now, and it’s definitely charming. You may consider the field of medium-budget romantic comedies with an emphasis on time travel pretty much sewn up. Aubrey Plaza is the co-lead with Mark Duplass, and you couldn’t really ask them to be more likable. The plot centers around snarky journalists following up on a crazy-sounding classified ad in hopes of mocking the hayseed who posted it. Meeting, mocking and …

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Quick Review – The Raven

Posted in movies by - May 06, 2012
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Quick Review – The Raven
  • Release Date: 5/2012

‘The Raven’ is doomed from its very conception.

The idea that a crazy person would start copying the murders from Poe’s stories isn’t terrible, but the idea that this would cause Poe to be called in and asked to help solve the crimes is pretty stupid. From there it only gets dumber.

The killer makes it clear that he is a serious fan of Poe’s work. This immediately narrows the pool of suspects to one. This is a whodunit in which even the simple among us will know who done it before the end of the first act. We meet his …

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Review Update – Cabin in the Woods

Posted in movies by - May 06, 2012
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Review Update – Cabin in the Woods

So now that folks who are so inclined have had a chance to see ‘The Cabin in the Woods’, I’m gonna spoil it a little. I still contend that it’s better to go into it with as little foreknowledge as possible, so if you want to keep yourself pristine, you should stop reading this.

‘Cabin’ is much too ambitious to be just a horror movie. It’s got all the ingredients, sure. There are pretty, reckless teenagers in a scenic lakeside retreat. There are plenty of ghoulies. There is a creepy score and murky lighting. But ‘Cabin’ wants to do …

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Quick Review – The Cabin in the Woods

Posted in movies by - Apr 15, 2012
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Quick Review – The Cabin in the Woods

‘The Cabin in the Woods’ is kind of a game changer.

Ideally, you’ll go into the theater knowing only what’s in the trailer. I’m not going to wreck your high by telling you anything about what happens – you’ll thank me later. The less you’ve been spoiled, the more fun you’ll have.

Here’s what I can safely say – this movie delivers more crazy in the third act than my nervous system could safely absorb. It’s a meta-horror film, but not in the snarky and self-amused way the ‘Scream’ franchise was. It’s an ambitious attempt to close down the genre by actually …

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