This movie fails on every front. No tension, no plot worth following, no characters who i minded losing. It takes a special kind of flop to make even Geoffrey Rush unwatchable.

I imagined when I started this project that as I went through the exercise, I might get some insight into what makes a scary movie great. That still might happen. But by choosing scary movies sort of randomly I’ve already started to get some ideas about what you need to do to make a scary movie not great.

A couple ways to fail, courtesy of THOHH.

1. Spend all of your money on gadgets and ambience. This movie does a good job of looking like an art deco Nine Inch Nails video, but when you spend all that money on creepy props, you want to use them all even if it doesn’t add to your story.

2. Think you have to show me everything. You shouldn’t put it on the screen if it will be scarier in my head.

3. Rely too heavily on Chris Kattan. ‘Nuff said.