In lieu of review, I present a series of questions that prevented my full enjoyment of this film.
1) Why are we still afraid of the Kremlin?
In the world of MI:GP we are still neck deep in the Cold War, apparently. The Kremlin is still an impenetrable fortress and the Soviet military is still poised to pounce on US targets. 35 years ago, the military might of Russia might still be a worthy concern. Today, I’m not even sure Ukraine is terrified of Russia. Now, to be fair, the real menace in this film is something even more boring, so it’s hard to blame them for playing up the Russia angle.
2) Can we change the name of the Impossible Mission Force?
It’s silly, it’s negative and there’s another organization that goes by that acronym. In fact, the real IMF is probably better equipped to intervene in most of the situations into which we are deploying Ethan Hunt and company.
3) Bourne-Fu : threat or menace?
Everyone in action movies fights like Jason Bourne now, and it’s getting as shopworn as ‘Bullet Time’ was in the early aughts. Done well, it’s a distracting and jittery way to make a fight scene visceral. Done poorly, it’s an invitation to seizures that obscures the action to the point that the melee may as well be happening offscreen. It used to be a cool and novel effect, but you cannot trump good camerawork with baroque editing. Hold the camera steady now and then – I’m paying to see things.
4) Launch codes – is there any reason they should be seven pages long?
5) Why is there a Mario Brothers dungeon level in the middle of this movie?
Srsly. If you see it, you will sh*t bricks. It lasts like 15 minutes, too.
6) What happens if an IMF agent does not ‘choose to accept’ the mission?
Simon Pegg is funny and dear, and Paula Patton is a reasonable facsimile of Thandie Newton. She even looks a little more comfortable kicking ass, possibly because she’s barefoot a lot. I like JJ Abrams, and I guess this could have been worse (I’m looking at you, Mr. Woo) but it’s ultimately a series of meticulous action sequences suspended in an aspic of sloppy and overgrown plotting.
