At first, I did not believe this ad in Rolling Stone was real. To use your ad dollars to attack water just seemed ridiculous. Water has, of course, been adequately hydrating every living thing on this entire planet for untold eons. Water does not need a PR team, or an outside-the-box ad agency. Water was sitting there, bothering no one, sustaining life and charging nothing. Sure, Gatorade needs to differentiate itself from the other sugarwater “Sports Drinks” on the market, but it’s pretty audacious to target H2O as a bogus sports drink.

Once I realized they were at least a little serious, I remembered Brawndo, the sports energy drink that ruins American agriculture in “Idiocracy” by convincing farmers that it’s got “what plants crave – electrolytes.”

This ad kind of turns Mike Judge from a satirist to a prophet. A giant drink concern has decided to spend millions to convince us that water is somehow bullshit. The Espresso bar/strip clubs in the movie are very nearly here as well – there are bunches of espresso stands here in the Pugetropolis that feature nearly naked baristas. “Wipeout,” “Jackass” and “America’s Funniest Home Videos” aren’t quite “Ow, My Balls” but i bet someone is pitching that show right now – and it will do pretty well.

Thanks, Gatorade. Thanks for bringing us one step closer to the Idiocalypse.