Netflix Mining – The Wraith

Posted in life after cable by - Mar 02, 2012
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Netflix Mining – The Wraith

This movie is full-on amazeballs.

Nothing about it makes sense. Nothing. That has to be some sort of meta-accomplishment.

Here’s the IMDB synopsis:

“Packard Walsh and his motorized gang control and terrorize an Arizona desert town where they force drivers to drag-race so they can ‘win’ their vehicles. After Walsh beats the decent teenager Jamie Hankins to death after finding him with his girlfriend, a mysterious power creates Jake Kesey, an extremely cool motor-biker who has a car which is invincible. Jake befriends Jamie’s girlfriend Keri Johnson, takes Jamie’s sweet brother Bill under his wing and manages what Sheriff Loomis couldn’t; eliminate Packard’s …

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Quick Review – Tim and Eric’s Billion Dollar Movie

Posted in movies by - Mar 02, 2012
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Quick Review – Tim and Eric’s Billion Dollar Movie

My face feels violated.

I can handle a poop scene if need be. It just can’t be five minutes long, involve Ray Wise and fill up a bathtub.

I can handle ugliness and nihilism, if it’s in the service of some identifiable idea.

I can handle dark, aggressively stupid sketch comedy, but apparently not for 90 minutes.

I saw this at a free screening, with about 15 of the kind of movie obsessives that have tickets to weekday screenings in the U District. Half of them walked out. I didn’t even know that was possible.

I can’t imagine you’ll regret missing this one.

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Quick Review – Project X

Posted in movies by - Mar 02, 2012
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Quick Review – Project X

Act One: A group of unpopular boys vow to become cool and/or sexually active before an arbitrary date.

Act Two: They throw a party when the parents are away. The party starts out fun but then abruptly goes sideways.

Act Three: Jaw-droppingly mild consequences and obvious psychosocial lessons all around.

Act Four: Profit.

You have seen every single part of this movie in other teen comedies. I’ll grant that the second act does offer amplitude where it cannot offer originality. I’ll even grant that the relationships between the protagonists are sort of sweet, in a ‘Superbad’ kind of way. The thing is, I can’t …

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Quick Review – Thin Ice

Posted in movies by - Feb 25, 2012
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Quick Review – Thin Ice

Thin Ice wants to be Fargo. It isn’t.

That’s not bad in itself, of course. Most movies aren’t Fargo.

It’s got the wintry climate and folksy charm of Kenosha and environs, and it’s got a noirish tale of easy money and betrayal that I found moderately compelling. The cast is good enough in all respects.

The problem, as it so often is these days, is the third act. Not only does the wrapup disappoint, it insults the audience. There’s a voiceover where they straight Scooby Doo you – going over the entire story and describing the con in turgid detail. When the Scooby …

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Quick Review/Rant – 21 Jump Street

Posted in movies by - Feb 25, 2012
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Quick Review/Rant – 21 Jump Street

I was asked not to review this movie until sometime in March, because I saw it at a free preview screening. However, the company that asked this took everyone’s cell phone. Then they wanded us. If you left to get refreshments, they insisted on wanding you again. Same with the bathroom. In spite of all this, a guy with night-vision goggles was prowling the stands throughout the film.

Note to movie PR teams: If you have the ninja goggles guy, you don’t need my phone. You don’t need to wand me, and you don’t need to know what’s in my …

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Life After Cable – Lillyhammer

Posted in life after cable by - Feb 13, 2012
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It’s hard not to root for this show. It’s the first streaming series produced by Netflix. It’s got Little Steven making all those Silvio Dante faces we thought we would never see again. It’s got witness protection, charming Norwegian locals, and loads of quirky semi-indie potential. Should Netflix score with this series and their upcoming Arrested Development season, it might very well rewrite the rules for how quality shows get from the creator to your home entertainment center.

Well, I’ve watched two episodes now, and while I’m still cautiously optimistic, I’m not betting on this show to be the gamechanger Netflix …

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Quick Review – Chronicle

Posted in movies by - Feb 06, 2012
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Quick Review – Chronicle

First of all, props for making a superhero movie that doesn’t rely on existing properties. The studio system’s insistence on fishing with dynamite by only investing in ancient properties is dispiriting. It’s nice to see a gamble on a new franchise pay off a bit.

That said, ‘Chronicle’ doesn’t exactly break a lot of new ground. Teenagers stumble on a pulsating McGuffin that gives them powers – telekinesis in this case. The kids first exult in their new abilities, then begin to struggle with how to use them. Their different approaches to great power expose the differences between them and we …

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Quick Review – The Grey

Posted in movies by - Feb 06, 2012
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Quick Review – The Grey

I’d say watch it if Liam Neeson is your spirit animal, or if you like being punched in the face by hopelessness forever.

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Quick Review – The Viral Factor

Posted in movies by - Feb 04, 2012
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Quick Review – The Viral Factor

‘The Viral Factor’ had a budget of 17 million dollars, according to IMDB. I’m amazed the budget was so small, because the movie plays like it cost three or four times that much. Most of the action takes place in Kuala Lumpur, which makes a pretty great backdrop for shenanigans like helicopter chases. I’ve heard director Dante Lam referred to as the Hong Kong Michael Bay, and the comparison is not without some merit. He does make glossy, loud and implausible action films. He does cut the action choppy enough that sometimes you can get a little lost. He does …

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Netflix Mining – Tucker and Dale vs. Evil

Posted in movies by - Jan 20, 2012
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I missed out on ‘Tucker and Dale vs. Evil’ when it was at SIFF last year. I do not know how it got by me – it had a lot of buzz and even starred a central player in the Whedonverse. I can happily report that I have rectified the situation. You can, too, if you missed its tiny run in art house theaters, thanks to the magic of Netflix Streaming.

The basic story is given away in the trailer. The required handful of supple, callow youths are heading into the woods for a weekend’s sport, as one does. Our protags …

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